Cameron takes forever to Iron

My father used to say, "Where'd you go after you ironed your shirt"- which was his passive aggressive way of saying, "Iron your shirt, you look like the accountant who had to do all of the damage surveying after Mad Maxx blew up the Thunderdome"- or likely he just meant, "Cam you are pretty bad at ironing"- and I submit to you that he was right.

According to Wiki How(which is the most professional resource for fact checking kids, always and only use this for every research project- books are wrong but the internet's random sources are always, always right and professors love this) the first step to Ironing is checking the tag for Ironing instructions- which apparently exist.  The second step to ironing is finding the appropriate number setting on the dial of your iron- apparently this exists as well.  If I am at all anything like most men- we feel the need to make the surface of our Iron so hot that we could use it to bake bread, escape some Draconian jail like in the worst of Western Movies, weld underwater submarines, etc.- the point is that we turn the knob up to its fullest capacity and then ignore the run-up with all of the gusto of a deaf sprinter who cared little for the sound of the gun, nor had the capacity to obey it..

Ironing a shirt, for me, is like trying to fold a sandwich over upon itself without exposing the guts- its like making a paper airplane out of sheet metal, using a tac hammer without denting one side to 'spite' the other..  

I'm bad a origami- which I am sure will become another article- but the point is that my horrid anxiety over ironing for validation probably stems from the fact that I cannot logistically understand the zen of a shirt being wholly uniform; that there is no yin to the yang- that there is no wrinkle zone to complete the flat zone is beyond me because inherently the distress of pure heat and metal have drawn the thing to some.. how brooding does this sound.. boring and seemingly perfect.. 

Where I went after I ironed my shirt was into a fit of rage when I sat in my car to see the painstaking time ruined by a stiff seat belt or a slouched posture or even a flip-turned belt buckle; the point is that I am, sigh, bad at ironing- 

       Cameron Dibble

       Dry Cleaning Customer Since 1990 Something

Welcome, Salutations, and other Greetings in Languages I'm also bad at..

If you stumbled across this blog then chances are- you are bad at the internet, the internet is mad at you, or likely both; after all Al Gore created the internet to make you better at things, so quit looking at my blog if you are bad at making snow caps melt because that, my virtual friend, is a very good kind of bad and one that I have no real evidence that I am bad at..
My name is Cameron Dibble, and I am very bad at a lot of things- like tennis and gin rummy, I think maybe spelling gin rummy and certainly bad at checking for a spelling on gin rummy even though I could just use my + sign on my Safari browser to check it and you're like 'dude you're bad at keeping our attention' and I'm all like, 'yeah thats clearly what this blog is about'...
Oh right, anyway, if you are bad at the internet and you love hearing when someone is bad at things- then this is the perfect way to enjoy a playfully dark take on 'fail' culture and occasionally educational things that puzzle me, befuddle me- and maybe do other things that involve like double consonants followed by 'le' that I am bad about knowing exist- I'm sure some exist and just for fun I always wanted to type out the word 'skullduggery' because that's a real word that I am very bad at inserting into everyday conversations..  Oh and 'haberdasher'- which means trouser maker- I have no use for that word because I have no use for the word 'trouser' because it always seems so creepy when you don't just say pants, its like that old guy who wasnt related to you but always like started a conversation whenever you saw him in the super market and he used the word 'conversate' but he was old so you let him use it even though it wasn't a real word.. bad at stuff like that..
So enjoy my blog; because if you don't remember that it's free and you could be reading a blog about how to make lawn furniture out of Russian Kale- which probably exists and again- I would be Pretty Bad at That..
      Cameron Dibble
      Jack of Some Trades
      Also Bad at More than Some